Growing up in a family with 4 girls, (me being the youngest), I had to continually prove myself. My sisters were standouts and very popular at school. When I was a kid, I switched from wanting to be a “news reporter-nurse-teacher-soccer player-and comedienne” all in a span of 2 years. I never really knew what I wanted to do in life. So then I turned to music. Smh. I didn’t even know I had a voice that people wold even listen to, until one day, my cousin, Diane Johnson, made me sing a solo at church, (respectfully, Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love Of All) at age 12. I was terrified!! My sister was the singer in the home. She did ALL the funerals, ALL the plays and stuff. I never thought anyone would listen to me, but Diane and my father, the late Chester Gray did. They thought I was good, but I did not.

A couple of years went on and I was called to open for Gospel Legends, Shirley Caesar and the Mightly Clouds of Joy at age 14. I remember being self conscience about my shoes. Yeah.. those shoes. They were “silver and pointy”. Just think Cinderella’s glass slippers. Shame. I remember constantly looking down at my feet because I had unusually long feet, Size 10, for a 5th grader. Those “shoes” almost made me miss an opportunity of a lifetime, cause I was worried that people were laughing at me. Then the music started, I clicked my heels 3 times and I was in “MusicLand!”

I began singing everywhere you could imagine. When I would get before the people, God gave a deep connection to them. It was as if I could feel what they were feeling when they looked at me. Sometimes It would scare me off stages and I never wanted to sing again, because the connection to people was so strong. I knew that the very thing I was running from, was the thing I was suppose to do. Well, I didn’t have to run anymore because 3 months after I was married, my husband, asked me to take a break from music. Why? Well, one reason was that HE was not sure if that was what I was suppose to be doing. Um Kay. So I did. It came to A COMPLETE HALT! Those 3 months turned into 3 kids and 13 years of not singing, cold turkey! I found myself clipping coupons (yes I was an EXTREME COUPONER..lol) being obsessed with going to garage sales and other things, knowing that I was not satisfied inside. I was suffering so badly. Not because of the music, just because I didn’t know my purpose anymore. I lost….ME. Angela Lashun Gray -turned- Blair, still Ex-Blair but still Blair. You get the picture. LOL. However, I stopped because I felt I was doing the right thing by submitting God through my submission to my husband. We were both young and I thought that it was the right thing to do.

As I suffered in silence, I put on excessive weight and I really didn’t want to hear any music anymore cause it hurt a little. I missed singing, because it was my form of therapy, so much later on, that I would sneak & change clothes in the car just to go sing at a wedding for $25, and come right back as if I was at the store. SMH.. Yeah.. that wasn’t right, but I did it anyway. Well one day, I entered a contest on the last day of entries, the Kraft Gospel Talent Search, in 2005 that was held during the Essence Festival,  for 3 reasons, 1. My father had just passed 2 months earlier, 2.  My breast doctors had told me they found something on the exam (later to be benign & clear..Thank You Jesus!) and 3. I just wanted a free trip to the festival. Well, I was picked, I went to sing, and I won the entire thing. A true Leap of Faith huh?  I won a cash prize of $25,000. You do remember I told you I sang for $25 earlier? Ok.

Not long after winning the contest, my husband of 17 years left without warning. I was left to care for 3 kids, no job, no love for myself anymore, etc. My self-esteem was BELOW low, and that dirty depression crept in. I didn’t know what to do, so I worked a couple of jobs here and there, but I just couldn’t get it together. I lost myself in the process again. Thank God for a praying mother. I have a “Cissy Houston” type of mother and she helped me so much to gain the daughter SHE birth, back. Yeah, her words hurt at times (tough love) and then there were sweet tender words with her, but I thank God she NEVER gave up on me.

You see I’ve shared the stage with countless stars, too many to name,  but I was out there hurting really bad. So many are out there still hurting. That is why “compassion and love” is the key. What you say could push a person over, who is TRYING to heal secretly. I thought that my “voice” cost me my marriage, so I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was VERY angry at him. I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting. I didn’t want him to ever be happy because he hurt me, my kids, my reputation, etc. I knew it was wrong to place that on him, but I didn’t care. After he filed for divorce, with NO explanation, I was devastated. I thought my life was over. What was I going to do with 3 kids, an “unfinished career”, excessive weight, no nothing, etc. Who was going to want to deal with that? I was mad at my ex-husband because I thought he robbed me of so many years of my life. But I made that choice to marry him and yes we make choices but we want to blame others. I had to take ownership of my own actions and learn from them.

One day, the devil messed up and let me turn on my tv.  When I cowas able to lift my head up long enough, I would hear multiple messages on the same day from Bishop TD Jakes,  Pastor Jamal Bryant, Pastor Bill Winston and more ALL saying to “Let Go” of the past. I could ONLY hear them, but I couldn’t see their faces. MATT 11:15 says, “He that has an ear, let Him hear!” I HEARD and I was gaining strength to lift up my head! Then one day, while on a visit to the lake to attempt to submerge ALL of my problems because I wanted my life back, a song came on in the car, “A Heart That Forgives”, by Kevin Levar. Powerful. The devil knew his time was up, because the gear got jammed in neutral, my daughter called, and somehow I ”accidentally” answered.

I heard her little sweet voice say, “What cha doin? I love you.” It was like the voice of God speaking to me through her. The devil was playing tricks on my mind. He figured if I check out now, I will forfeit ALL the rewards God had in store. GOD BLOCKED IT! I was harboring such a hate for my ex-husband that it was “silently” killing me, but yet I was still singing before the people telling them to forgive each other. One day, I took my OWN advice and forgave my ex-husband, and that was when I experienced a flood of blessings in my life.

I love him (my ex husband) so much more today because I am a stronger woman because of what I endured. I had to realize that he was God’s child too and I was not to hate anyone. Yes, I’ve hurt some people and some people have hurt me, but understand that your ultimate goal here on earth is to Serve God and Love ALL Mankind. I’ve learned not to force anything in life but to live life freely and peacefully. God is in control. That situation healed parts of me that I didn’t even know existed or needed healing in me. I am grateful for that pain and for any opportunities given to me now,  because there was a time when my voice was “silenced.”

Stop having your prayers hindered because your heart is full of sores and scabs. Your healing awaits you. “Letting Go” has allowed me to walk freely to and from every opportunity knowing that God is pleased with my heart.

Today, whatever is holding you back from being set free, Forgive them & Let It Go…..for GOOD! I am now FREE to love again, to live again and serve God in Freely in Spirit & in Truth. I NOW have a POWER through God that I never knew existed because I Let Go. Be Blessed!

Bible References:

Matt 6: 14-15

Thanks for listening,

Angela Blair

www.angelablair.com

By now, you have most likely heard that there will be a “Faces Within The Mirror: Warning Signs” Awareness Conference in Dallas on Saturday, March 3, 2012. The conference will be held from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm at the Dallas Marriott Suites Market Center Hotel located at 2493 N. Stemmons Freeway 75207.

I hope that your schedule will allow you to come out and join us as we explore and discuss subjects associated with domestic violence and abuse. As you recall, this was the focus of our play that you attended at Friendship West in October 2011. This will be a great opportunity to interact with myself & the other distinguished panelists and others attending the conference who shares interests in these issues.

Additional information about the conference and ticket purchases can be made online by clicking on the following link which directs you to the “Faces Within The Mirror: Warning Signs” Facebook page: www.facebook.com/faceswithinthemirror

This is an issue for ALL! Please join us!

Dallas Songstress, Angela Blair, will appear on the longest running show on BET, The Bobby Jones Gospel Show, this Sunday, December 4th, at 8am CST/9am EST! Set your DVRS & Don’t miss this performance one of the most “powerful” voices ever.

http://www.examiner.com/gospel-music-in-plano/angela-blair-to-appear-on-bobby-jones-gospel

The event, Super Soul Celebration,  will take place on Saturday January 28th, 2012

MO’VET Entertainment and Barbara Hudson production
Presents
The riveting stage play
FACES WITHIN THE MIRROR

Written by Barbara Hudson
Directed by Snoop Robinson and Amy Cannon Bryant

“Mirrors can be deceiving; they only reflect what’s shown. Rape and molestation are often unspoken of, but yet seen in anger and promiscuity. Rejection leads to loneliness. Is there comfort and security in men? Or are we fooled by the schemes of the enemy. ”

Come see how God mended the pieces of a shattered life, on
October 21, 2011 at Friendship-West Baptist Church @ 8pm Doors open at 7pm

All Tickets are General Admission
$25 Pre- Sale $35 at the Door

VIP $45
(VIP Ticket Includes Meet and Greet before the show at 6:45pm and early entrance at 6:30pm and premiere seating)

Starring, From the movie Juwanna Mann and LIFE, Miguel Nunez,
From the movie “Leap of Faith” Songstress Angela Blair,
Alesia Taylor,
Kimberly Colwell, Amber Bush, Tonya Neal, Autumn Cannon,
Yasmine Lockett and Terrance Johnson

Visit Tom Joyner’s site to see the entire Jam Session with Angela